Friday, April 4, 2008

Downward curve mode...


Hi everyone!

I am very happy that there are some positive responses to my mini-project here, The Sabine Chronicles..especially the latest installment. It was just a brainwave on a Saturday morning, and frankly, after reading it myself, I surmise that there are lots of room for improvement. But I am happy that you guys like it. Just wait for Sabine's (and her master's) next footprints!

My life has always been a roller-coaster ride since 15 years ago. Sometimes, my manners will be good, life is a bed of roses, I am very optimistic. But turn the next corner, round the next bend, then my life will go downhill. I will be full of negative aspects. Lazy, irresponsible to myself, God, family, friends; doesn't take good care of myself, indifferent, not being nice to people, life is a bed of thorns, etc. etc.

Which is my current mode now. What I will call the Evil mode. The Destructive mode. The Damnation mode. The Downward Spiral.
Which is a shame. Just a few weeks back, I was polar opposite. I was in a Good mode. The Enlightened mode. The Beneficient mode. The Upward Curve. What Mr Hirata will say, "Ekstrapolasi kurva yang menanjak..."

So I am waiting for the surge again. The spirit inside me. The drive to be good. The flames of faith to be re-ignited. May Allah still smiles upon this unworthy soul.

"Hidayah is a visitor that we must cherish, lest She goes away again"

Wassalam.


Saturday, March 29, 2008

The Sabine Chronicles 2: Not taking his own medicine...

Previous part of the story...Lonely broken heart

"Love is a complex thing, isn't it?" asked Fauzan. "You hit the nail there, my friend.." Adnan agreed.

These two friends are sharing a cup of tea in downtown Ampang. A small terrace house..small but nice and neat. Adnan's house.

"Sometimes I can't figure out what are the women are thinking about! They befuddled me!" Fauzan's air of exasperation is palpable. "Sigmund Freud also said as much. Years of analyzing the female psyche, the poor thinker still can't crack the women mind. But to be fair to the womenfolk, we are also an enigma to them." Adnan rambled on.

Fauzan grinned. "I guess you are right. I mean, really, Manihah is a dear, but sometimes, I just can't understand her behaviour, her feelings. I wanted to understand her so badly, but it's like there is a wall or something!" Adnan smiled in return. "You are in a male's familiar territory. Just relax." A pregnant pause. "So have you told her yet? You guys have been going out for months now, but you never really told your feelings about her.."

Fauzan heaved a sigh. "I wanted to, but part of me is holding back. I am afraid that she will reject me, or that I am not good enough for her. I mean, maybe the reason she agreed to hang out with me is because I am good as a colleague, but not good enough to be with in a long-term relationship."

Adnan reflected a bit, & countered, "Well, being rejected is part & parcel of one's love life. My friend, see it this way. If you don't be honest with Manihah about your feelings, then she will never know it. Your relationship will never go anywhere. It just ends there, period. You must be willing to take the plunge. Especially in our culture, the man is supposed to make the move, not the girl. & even if she's not interested in you,take that as a learning experience. Improve you strengths, suppress your weakness. There is somebody out there, for everyone. It is Allah's promise. And His promise is always true."

Fauzan pondered, then, "Yes, maybe you are right. But still, it will not be easy. The confessing part, I mean."
Adnan said, "Yes, it is hard. But just relax." Then he hummed a tune, "If things go right we're meant to be.."

"Haha. What is it this time? Which song is that?" Fauzan is curious. "Norwegian guy. Sondre Lerche. Song name is Modern Nature. The message is about letting a relationship runs it course, not restricted by too much plans, & accepting whatever the outcome: be it separate ways, or together forever." Adnan explained.

"Ok then, I think I have to go. Graveyard shift today. & Dr Leo is not fond of stragglers." Fauzan rose. "Yeah, nice chat we had this evening. Tomorrow I have to check on Mrs Lim. Hope her leg is better now." Adnan is leading Fauzan to the door.

"All in a day's work, eh? I see you when I see you." Fauzan is starting the Waja. "Ok. & Fauzan." pregnant pause. "Remember, love is not just feelings. It is also an ability. Tell Manihah about your feelings, ok? Best of luck!" Fauzan laughs. "& that line would be from...?" Adnan answered, "Dan In Real Life. Steve Carell. Old movie."

"Alright mate. see ya. salam." Fauzan waved. & he's gone. Adnan waved to the distance, then went back inside.

Something white & fluffy darted across the patio. "Sabine, where have you been?" Adnan scratched his cat's chin playfully. But Sabine still has her eyes fixed on her master. Accusatory eyes. Adnan said, "So, you think that I didn't walk the talk, eh? I am only able to fix other people's love lives, but my own. Kinda like Hitch." Adnan smiled. Sabine nodded.

Adnan carried Sabine up his lap, & rested on the couch. Flashes of past events in his life passes thru his mind. Then, one face sprung up. A lovely face, pretty, & always fill his heart with warmth. "That was a long time ago. She is probably married now." He opened his eyes. Sabine's lamp-like eyes are staring back.

Minutes passed by. "You know what, Sabine? Maybe I will be taking my own medicine from now on. I'll give it a try." Adnan rose up. "After all, love is also an ability, isn't it?"

Sabine yawned.

"Where is she now, I wonder?". Adnan smiled.

continued in It was a cold night...

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Not enough time...

Assalamualaikum, good day...

I have shied away from blogging for a while these past few weeks. IMO, there's three axis that is crucial for all bloggers...namely, ideas, mood, & time. Let's just say that I am fairly brimming with the former two, but alas..time is not my ally these days.

I have to clear up many deadwoods over the past fortnight, not to mention exams & organizational work, that even if I am currently in a four-days holiday streak, I am still not finished with my responsibilities. But Alhamdulillah, some of the things that I have been meaning to do for days / weeks are finished. (mopping & dusting the room, etc). But it's not all work folks haha. Still managed to enjoy the break a bit, what with some of my friends are March babes! ( happy birthdays to Nadiah, Swarna, Aida, Dayah, & Phaik Hsia!) & there's a slew of birthday bashes!

Simply put, when I have time constraints..blogging have to be put in the back burner, coz I am such a slow typer...take me ages to type a paragraph, hehe. My dream was to blog vignette-style (short & concise), but it seems that I cannot adapt to that style...at least not yet.

Oh yes, the reason why suddenly I am drowning in a lot of work..is because some of this work or responsibilities are actually things that I should have finished months or weeks ago (organization reports, house cleaning, studies)...but because of my laziness & foot-shuffling, they have accumulated to a great extent, that I just can't gloss over them any longer hehe. & Alhamdulillah, in these past recent days, I am getting a bit hardworking, so I am tackling my mounting workload, bit by bit, one at a time, slowly but surely. Hopefully I will be able to finish them all haha. & hopefully I will not be afflicted by laziness again. :) So the lesson, peeps, never procrastinate! Get the job done! haha.

As the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:
"The two blessings that are usually forgotten by mankind: good health & free time."

Till next time...got to wash the bathroom this afternoon....Insya Allah...
Toodles! wassalam.....

Saturday, March 8, 2008

For the next 5 years...

Assalamualaikum & good day...

Today Malaysians go to the polls...to choose the State & Federal governments for the next 5 years (or less)...

As has been the norm in Malaysian polls in recent years, the spectre of cheating in the polls loom over the horizon. Vote-rigging, phantom voters, vote-buying, etc. are just a number of possible ways to cheat, especially for the ruling Barisan Nasional (BN). It is really sad that the BN has to resort to this dirty & underhanded tactics to preserve their power base. At the eleventh hour, the Election Committee decide to shelve the plan of using the voting inks (special inks which stay on your skin for a few days, applied when you have voted, so that you can't double vote). .

& any sane Malaysian, regardless of political alignments, can see that the mainstream media in Malaysia is totally controlled by the BN government. They lavish praises & showed the ruling government in positive light, while highlighting only the negative aspects of the Opposition. Do I hear responsible reporting? Sadly, apparently not. & I roll my eyes when I see in the news that the BN politicians are whining that the Malaysian blog community in general is Pro-Opposition, & labelling the Opposition as cowards when they express their views in blogs. If the BN has been fair in giving ample media coverage to the Opposition, the Opposition wouldn't have resorted to underground methods in the first place. Well, if the Opposition are "cowards", well what can we call the BN politicians then, hiding behind the lopsided media coverage? Maybe "wussies". :)

I have a moderate inclination in politics, but I just can't stand people who fight dirty. Let the people vote accordingly. There's no need to tamper with the results. & equal amount of airtime for everyone please!

May justice prevails...& may the politicians who have the peoples' interest in their hearts win (regardless from BN or opposition)...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Counting your blessings...(bersyukur)

Assalamualaikum & good day,

Lately, I've been catching myself doing a lot of complaints & grumblings...like..."medical life is hard"..."I am officially broke"..."I am not good-looking enough"....

While at the same time forgetting that I am truly blessed, it's just I doesn't realise it...because you see..it's so easy to complete the above sentences with...

medical life is hard...but at least I am given the opportunity to learn & have an education..
I am officially broke...but at least I still have enough money to eat square meals every day...
I am not good-looking enough...but at least I am in good health & dont have any disabilities...

Aren't we all like that sometimes? We think that Allah/God is being unfair.....that life is being unfair to us...

But take a break & count your blessings..sometimes it is so important yet we dont realize it, we tend to overlook it..

for example..how can you read these writings? Because you have eyes that gives us the lovely gift of sight...which begs the question: how many of us has been grateful to God for our eyes?

& that's just one example of overlooked blessings...there are many more blessings that we never take the time to appreciate...our friends..our health.. our healthy psyche..

& yet we always seemed to want more...we are always jealous of other people's lives...but maybe we should remember too..that the grass always seemed to be greener on the other side...

It is stated in the Koran, chapter Ibrahim, verse 34:

"And He giveth you of all that ye ask for. But if ye count the favours of Allah, never will ye be able to number them. Verily, man is given up to injustice and ingratitude."

True, right? If we are to sit down & try to count our blessings..we will never be able to count them. God has given us so much, yet we are being ungrateful & asked for more.

So, my friends, the next time you are feeling down in the dumps, feeling that God has given you a hard deal, or anything is giving you a hard time...remember to count your blessings..& smile...& your life will not seem so bad, in fact, not bad at all....

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

On turning 23...

Assalamualaikum & good morning,

So I am finally 23 years of age. Alhamdulillah, through Allah's grace I managed to stay alive up to this point. I am really glad.

Hopefully, this will finally be the year I made good on my unfulfilled promises of yester-years, & I will be able to achieve my dreams, & I can be the man that I always hoped to be..
( I seem to be using these words often, didn't I? :) )

Insya-Allah, with His mercy & guidance...I will change myself for the better...& be on the right path..all the way...

Friday, February 22, 2008

Political upheavals...


Assalamualaikum & good day,
It seems that thru out the world, politics in many countries are undergoing changes.

*My own country Malaysia is holding her latest general elections come this March 8.
*Kosovo has break away from Serbia and have declared their independence.
I hope that the new leaders who will be elected will do their job well, serve the people, and not just concerned with their own honeypots.
But sadly, that's the norm these days. Politicians are giving politics a bad name due to their antics. Involved in corruption, implicated in sexual cases, hoarding money from trust funds, saying stupid things or unbecoming things in the public, displaying total lack of knowledge & disregard to sensitivities...
It's so hard to find a decent politician these days. The ones who genuinely care for the well-being of the people under their care, the ones who are willing to go the extra mile in helping his subjects...
Well, well, look who's rambling. I also must repair my faults first haha. All the best for the election nominees in Malaysia. May the best (caring) politician wins...
p/s: I havent' registered to be a voter....I am already 23...why oh why I haven't had the common sense...


Monday, February 18, 2008

Why am I blogging again...?

Assalamualaikum & good day,

Don't know what drives me to do it, but today I went blog-hopping. Haha, dunno whether such a term exist, but what yours truly is referring to is, I went thru some established blogs in the world of blogging to learn some pointers or too. Well, let's just say it's an Eye-opener.
I realized that I still have lots to learn in this art of blogging.

I like some of the experienced bloggers ways of presenting their ideas..easy to digest..funny..colourful without being garish..factual without being preachy..haha

& I looked at my previous posts..& urgghhh...makes me want to throw up!..haha..not all of the posts anyway...but seriously...haneef, go figure!

Well I guess it takes time & effort..I guess..to be really good in blogging..haha time & effort..2 things that I am notoriously always have in short order..

Oh well, maybe I should examine why I want to blog again...
*I want to sharpen my literary wit (English esp)...since sages always say that we must improve
our strengths right?
& sadly my only identifiable strength in this world, is my *passable* command of English.
*To meet other people, from which I can learn new things..so that we can all be better persons.
*To blow off some steam...so that I will not sunk into depression
*To teach myself the art of communicating your ideas to the people, to the masses..

There! I think that's about it...haha..lofty ideals...the problem with being me is...I always make plans, but never acted upon them...

As John Lennon said,

The world is what happens to us, when we are busy making plans.

Oh, btw, I tried to test my blog on one of those readability test for a 2nd time, (the 1st time around I get junior high school), & guess what I got this time around!? an elementary school status!

My days are complete...

As-Shahid Imam Hassan Al-Banna..Anniversary of death

Assalamualaikum,

Just want to share a posting by my friend Ustok, about a Muslim individual, whose works should never be forgotten...Imam Hassan Al-Banna.

Here is the link.

Updated: A kind Indonesian couple, who currently resides in Kuwait, shared with us here an Indonesian translation of a letter written by Imam Hassan Al Banna's father, in conjunction with Imam Hassan's martyrdom, here.

Thank you. May Allah bless u.

Thx for the Feb Party guys..

Last night, some of my batchmates band together to celebrate friends whose birthday falls in February, at the local Pizza Hut. I am also a member of this happy little group.

Happy birthdays..to Aisyah KG. Shah KG, Ida, Nani, & Azra..may God bless u all.

Thx to my friends who have organized the event: Nadiah, Pong, Toy, Kuden, & others that I may forgot to mention..

Thx for all friends who managed to attend..& for friends who are unable to come..thx for the heartfelt wishes...

Thx for the presents too...will cherish it always..

If there's only one regret...I hoped that I was the one who won the musical chair haha...but I wasn't a competitive person anyway...

Thx guys...