Monday, October 27, 2008

My Bedrock


Assalamualaikum & good evening,

I wonder why I never posted about my family before. They are such an integral part of my life. I am what I am, because of their continued love & support.

Ayah, you have taught me to stand up for myself, and never flinch at life's challenges. You are the source of my admiration. If I even have half of your qualities, I will become a greater person than I am now.

Emak, words cannot express the sacrifice and love you have given to me all these years. There could never be a more understanding, a more loving Mom. I hope that I can repay your deeds by becoming a very good person.

Angah and Adik, thank you for being such good sisters. Over the years we have gone through so much. It has always been my greatest fear that I have not played the part of a big brother as good as I had envisaged. I hoped that my fear is baseless. I hoped that I have been a good role model for you, my dear sisters.

I just arrived in Jogja yesterday.

Somehow, my farewell with my family this time weighs heavily on my heart. Greater than usual. There's more than the usual tinge of sadness.

There's a heartfelt longing for them this time around.

Ya Allah, tempatilah mereka dalam kasih sayang-Mu.

Today is A Gift

Assalamualaikum & good evening,

There comes a time when a person pulls all the stops & examine how his life has been going up until that point.

If it was my case, I have pulled all the stops countless times.

Friends have said that I am fretful, that I think too much.

Too burdened by past regrets, too mired with what's too come.

Like Master Oogway say to Po in Kungfu Panda, "You are too concerned with what was & what will be." but Oogway then continued, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

Once heard during a Friday sermon:
"The most successful person is he who has no regrets of his past actions, is contented with what he is now, and doesnt worry about the future"
I guess I am not successful then. Terribly not successful.

If I had done things differently in days past, would I change for the better?

The challenges of the future, will I be ready to face them head-on?

Have I accomplished what I always dream of?

Ya Allah, tabahkanlah hatiku. Tunjukkanlah aku ke jalan yang Kau redhai.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

15 facts about me...

Assalamualaikum... & good day,

Well, in the spirit of satiating my dear friend NK, and at the risk of my blog becoming another time-forgotten blog *hint hint*wink wink*...well, here goes...

Rules :
1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tags back!!

Okay here we go:

1. I like cute animals. Cats, rabbits, hamsters, ...even puppies!

2. My room's neatness is the outward expression of my state of mind. Neat = good state, messy = demotivated, I-dont-care-anymore attitude.

3. I am a sucker for romantic comedies, which are hard to come by these days. Oh yes.. Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, While You Were Sleeping, My Best Friend's Wedding!

4. Having said that, I dont dig horror movies. Or sickening stuff. You know. Saw and Final Destination series for example. Or Child's Play. 'Coz my brain will replay the sickening moments for weeks.

5. I give names to my things that I'm really attached. Oh yes. I am typing this on Athena, & I go to campus with my Humaira'. Oh yes...

6. I sucks at drawing things. Wouldnt make a good partner in Win, Lose, or Draw.

7. I recalled that I watched M.A.S.K cartoon as a child. Nope, not the green face Mask. I am talking M.A.S.K with T-Bob the robot, a baddie named Mayhem, n vehicles which could change to weapon systems. Weird, none of my friends seems privy about the show.

8. I was never involved in a fist-fight. Not ever. Weird...

9. First having major dislocation of my bone or tendon, was when I was 4 I think. Was trying to reach for the remote while standing on my tricycle. Hey, I was 4....

10. Lime juice rulezzz.....always...

11. Back when they were young, my 2 sisters were always bickering, even in the family car. So I will always sit in the middle of the back seat, on family outings. Yup, Big Bro / Berlin Wall. They made up now.

12. Never received a love letter. Never been on a date. Never been in a relationship. (Do all these count as one? haha.)

13. Like to memorize movie lines, book lines, song lyrics, esp the ones which rivet my mind. Capture my attention. Fascinates me. & it's not a conscious effort. It just happens.

14. Had my first crush when I was 7. Since then, must have gone through like 20 crushes. 1 love letter. 1 rejection.

15. I am actually a lazy-bum & not studious. But most of my friends have these weird notions that I am a nerd (which is the only true part) who buried himself in books 24-7. My close
associates will beg to differ. But I do want to be studious & hardworking. haha.

There. . After reading them myself, I realized, not such an interesting person after all. Oh well.
Wassalam.
Cheerios!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Sepi...best Malaysian film in years...


(disclaimer : the pictures are taken from Mr Fadz's blog, tontonmovie.)

Assalamualaikum & good morning,

During my recent holidays in Malaysia, I managed to catch Kabir Bhatia's latest offering, Sepi. By a unique turn of events, I end up going alone to see it. Prior to coming back to Malaysia, I don't know that Mr Kabir was working on a new movie. So, a few days after I arrived home, when I first noticed the vibes about Sepi, my interest was immediately piqued. Adding the fact that it has a strong ensemble cast, a who's who of the Malaysian industry, really drives me to see it. And the fact that I never went to the cinemas to watch a Malaysian movie is saying something. (Not even Cinta, Mr Kabir's previous work, which I only watch on cds).

If I am not mistaken, the production team is similar to Cinta. Back in screenplay, is Mr Kabir's wife, Nik Samira Nik Yusoff and ARA (Abdul Rahman Ahmad), & Madnor Kassim handling the camerawork.

Cinta, for me, is a good movie, but its weaknesses (not-so-flowing-storyline, uneven quality of acting, some implausible plot keys) manage to drag down its considerable strengths (stellar performance by Rahim Razali, Fatimah Abu Bakar, Nanu Baharuddin, Rashidi Ishak; excellent soundwork & camerawork), so that the end result is only good, but not excellent.

I am happy to say that Mr Kabir has improved by leaps and bounds in Sepi. The storyline as a whole, is tight, with less plot holes & occasional leaps of logic this time around. For the most part, the flow of the story is smooth, unlike Cinta, which does has some cringe-moments. (snatch-thief scene for e.g.) The dialogue is not wooden, and the cast, from the main characters right down to the supporting cast (which include the likes of Louisa Chong & Dian P Ramlee) perform their roles admirably. At the very least, they act adequately.

If the cinematography in Cinta was excellent, then the camerawork here will blow you away. The shots are very beautiful, and I sense a Malaysian aura permeates the whole movie. For once, I am proud of the way that the Malaysian way of life is portrayed by the movie. The wedding scene at kampung, the back alleys of low-cost houses, the KL cityscape from a glass window, the kitchen romantic scene between Afdlin & Vanida, the jogging tracks at the park... some scenes dont even have dialogues..because such is the strength of the camera shots...that the message is already conveyed to the audience..kudos to Kabir & Madnor.

The sound department dont disappoint either. They provide a nice complement to the story, & sometimes sets the mood for the scenes. Evocative, stirring, the movie will lost most of its charm & drive if not for the music. The use of Malay songs is also heartening, which shows that you dont have to rely on foreign songs, esp Westerns, to give an emotional impetus.

Sepi paints three story arcs, which progresses independently throughout most of the movie, but they do meet at a certain pivotal point, i.e. a car accident. 2 of the stories lead up to the accident, while one story starts from the accident. After the accident, the stories continues on their separate ways. Each of the story involves a love triangle (sort of), with one character being the focus of attention.



The first story revolves around Adam (Afdlin Shauki), a 30+ successful chef working in Kuala Lumpur (KL), who are unmarried and still single. His far relative, Suzie (Nasha Aziz), which is a bit eccentric & crazy, has always chased after Adam since childhood, but he didnt reciprocate that feelings. One day, he has a chance meeting with Ilyana (Vanida Imran), a wedding planner. Could she be the one that he has longed for so long?

To me, this story arc belongs to Afdlin. His acting is the best in the movie. He can portray humour and sadness in the same sentence. You can really feel his frustations, his sadness of being lonely. Vanida & Nasha's actings are good too, but dont leave an impression. Vanida's character seems a bit aloof sometimes, but there's no denying that she has a good chemistry with Afdlin. Their scenes together, pulls at the heartstrings...elicits feelings of longings.. Some reviewers praised Nasha's acting. To be fair, I am not adept in assessing eccentric characters (like Johnny Depp's characters), but she's a joy to watch.

The second story concerns about Sufi (Tony Eusoff), who lost his wife in the car accident. He blames himself for his wife's death, & for not expressing his love to his wife, and taking her for granted. Wrecked by guilt, he jogs daily to forget the pain, and he neglected his son. But a chance encounter with a mysterious lady,Marya (Eja) at the park, gives him hope again, and made him care about his son. Will Sufi ever find a second love?

If compared to Adam's storyline, Sufi's story is morally challenging, esp in a Malaysian context. The issues thrown about includes, whether you should be faithful to your spouse, if you really think you are meant for another. Marya is sad, because her marriage to Zain (Riezman Khuzaimi) is childless. Sufi make some overtures to Marya, but Marya still loves her husband. They decided eventually, that they will wait. For the time when they can be together.

For me, this story has the most leaps of logic, and some jarring or cringe-moments. Initially, I was taken in by Sufi, sympathizing in his plight, but midway through the story, I was a bit disgusted by Sufi's actions, which includes trying to pry another man's wife. However, the story redeems itself in the later parts of the story, which casts Sufi as a selfless man, and maybe, tragic. Acting-wise, Tony's performance is adequate, but not stellar. He doesnt portray the part of a widower quite well. Riezman's acting is adequate. He lacks screen time for me to make a connection. Eja could have the best acting in this story, but her scenes doesnt flesh her out too much. If only there were more of her.


The final story, centers around Imaan (Baizura Kahar) a college student, who writes a play named Sepi. She has a steady boyfriend, Khalif (Pierre Andre), who is an introvert. A "casanova", Ian (Syed Hussein), irks Imaan when he belittled her play. Trying to make up for it, Ian woos Imaan to teach him how to act, so that he can play the main act of reciting the poem in her play, titled Sepi. Ian finds himself smitten to her. Imaan slowly find herself falling slowly head over heels for Ian, who is sincere in his feelings toward her. Needless to say, Khalif is not amused.....

At first, the story doesnt seem engaging. The storyline is OK, but it seems to me like on of those run-of-the-mill stories of college puppy loves. The acting is top-notch however. Eventhough to me, Afdlin is the best actor in this movie, but Vanida's character is a bit serious. Baizura & Syed's characters on the other hand, has more playful banters and sweet exchanges between them. Baizura's acting has always been a charm, esp after seeing her for about 4 minutes in Cinta. She can portray child-like charm, sweetness, and seriousness in one go. Syed is also another good actor. He seems to be made for his role, a playboy who renounces his ways when he meets Imaan and is sincere in his love. You can sense that he's a playboy once, but has turned over a new leaf, and is really fighting hard to win Imaan's love. Pierre Andre, on the other hand, returns as another morose and introvert character, like his character in Cinta, Taufik. I guess his acting is adequate, because it is difficult for me to gauge his character, which is one-dimensional.

What makes the third story really ticks, is the last third of the story. What has been hitherto unremarkable storyline, changes into a shocking conclusion. (SPOILER ALERT: spoilers in red)




It is revealed that the reason Khalif was morose and introvert all the time is because he is already dead. He was only the imaginations of Imaan in the movie, who refused to accept the fact that he has died in a mugging. Suddenly, all the weird things in Imaan's storyline is explained, such as why a fellow passenger in the train was gazing pityingly at Imaan when she was "talking" with Khalif, and why Ian also puts on a sad face when Imaan remarked "My boyfriend is waiting to pick me up."
Khalif was being morose, because he wishes for Imaan to let him go, so that she can have a new life. When the truth is revealed, the revelation feels a lot like The Sixth Sense. You also feel sorry for Imaan, because she turns out to be the loneliest character in Sepi.




Sepi ultimately has a simple story to tell, which is encapsulated in its nebulous tagline...."Cinta tak datang hanya sekali."
I went to see it with the impression that it will be a sad movie thru and thru (with a title like that, surely the main theme will be "loneliness" to the hilt, rite?).

But it was not so.

The movie IS about loneliness, but it is foistered with a message of hope.
In Adam's story, it is about not giving up, always believing that the person who is meant for you is just around the corner, waiting for you.
In Sufi's case, it is about patience to wait for the right time to be together, undying love, and sincerity for the well-being of the person you care for, even if your love is not returned.
And in Imaan's case, it is about letting go of the past, and living for the present, and finding love again.
And the conclusion of all three stories is good. It might not be all happy endings, for some people, but it is the best way to end things, if the stories is taken to consideration.

But even a simple story, with good execution, good acting all around, stellar cinematography, and nice sounds, will translate into an excellent movie. And Sepi is one. A romantic movie which can make me cry many times during its length is a good one in my book. The best Malaysian movie in years, P Ramlee ones not withstanding.

And when the credits roll, with the outstanding Anuar Zain belting out Mungkin, IMO was the best way to end it all.

All is not lost for the Malaysian film industry.

See Sepi if you has its CDs.

You wont regret it.

Wassalam.

Drive to succeed...

Assalamualaikum & good morning,

The new semester has just started, which practically means that I have only less than 6 months before entering the hospitals. Gosh! Time really flies. Having enough knowledge about the workings of the human body now is wishful thinking!

My nature has always been governed by my current will & strength of conviction. That's why I have moments of youthful energy & exuberance (akin to the Renaissance) , and then it flips to downright shocking periods of extreme laziness. (the Great Depression?hehe)

Now, the key for me to become a beneficial & achieving person, is to harness the energy of exuberance when it appears, & try to prevent myself from flipping to the Dark Side again.

Ramadhan's peeking around the corner. O Allah, please let that be an impetus for me to really change for the better.

And hopefully the change is permanent this time around.

Wassalam.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Tagged by dear Phaik Hsia

Assalamualaikum & good day..

Taking a cue from Kepam, who am I not to say yes to Phaik Hsia, one of the dearest human to ever walk on Earth..? (^^)

Well, here goes...

tagged by Phaik Hsia!

So,here goes:

TAG #1
The rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names.


Eight random facts about myself

1. I like cute animals, cute here is subjective to my interpretation (^^), e.g. cats, rabbits, hamsters, Wisterian white mice, etc.

2. I like to memorize trivial things and oddities, such as movie lines that piques my interest, e.g. Batman Begins' : Why do we fall sir? We fall so that we may rise again. or Iron-Man's: Proof that Tony Stark still has a heart. or Lion King's: Gee, he looks blue. I say brownish-gold. No, no, I mean he's depressed. O. So, what's eating you, kid? Nothing, he's AT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN! THE FOOD CHAIN!! (laughs weakly) The memorization is not an active effort, it is subconsciously done. ( I wish I can do the same thing about my studies though )

3. Never had a girl friend. ( but lots of great woman friends, of which I am grateful for their friendship )

4. I have a phobia of creepy-crawlies (insects, arachnoids, etc) especially big ones.. and a mortal fear of heights.

5. All time favourite actors include: Tom Hanks, Robin Williams, Jack Nicholson, Anthony Hopkins
If actresseses include: Meg Ryan, Sandra Bullock, Meryl Streep, Resse Witherspoon

6. I don't have a well-defined or set personality. My personality is influenced by mood and my state of faith.

7. Like musics which soothe my head, and having a message is a plus. Again, 'soothing' here is subjective. Favourite songs include Sebelum Terlena-Hijjaz, Reflection-Christina Aguilera, Lelaki Ini -Anuar Zain, Manusia Bodoh-ADA Band, etc.

8. I like to eat. And I am partial to most foods, with only a few real dislikes, e.g petai.


TAG #2
Instructions:
Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question to make it a total of 20 questions.


1. What do you want the most now?
To be a pious Muslim (bertaqwa), and a human being which benefits others.

2. If you can have one more dream come true, what would it be? choose one: cure the environment from global warming and pollution, a cure for cancer, end wars and violence..
End wars and violence. Humans should not be killing each other. It is a sad situation.

3. What are you afraid to lose now?
My faith to Allah.

4. Do you believe in being in love forever?
Yes.

5. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
Yes, when the timing is right.

6. What would you do when you're feeling down and depressed?
Pray, take a walk, talk to friends. listen to music...

7. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Hypocrites.

8. Do you cherish every single of your friendships?
Each and everyone. Every human has positive sides, we just have to look for them.

9. Do you believe in God?
Yes.

10. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
My loved ones.

11. Do you find it necessary for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Not necessary. I don't think I am ready for a relationship anyway. I still have many weaknesseses that need to be addressed and improved upon. When the time is right...

12. What do you want your friends to be like?
To be themselves. To love and accept who they are.

13. What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friends' eyes?
A kind, considerate. loving friend.

14. If you can have a change, which part of your character would you like to change?
To always love myself, and seek to improve on my negatives, and strengthening my positives.

15. Would you die in order to save the ones you love?
Yes.

16. What would you do if you've lost everything in one shot?
Accept is as God's decree, and believe whole-heartedly, that there is a silver lining in it. God (Allah) knows best.

17. What would u do if your 'friends' are not really your friends anymore?
Life goes on...

18.
What do you see yourself as in the next 5 years?
A tired, overworked junior doctor. But content and fulfilled. Might be a doting uncle. Filial son.

19. When do u think is the best time for you to set up a family?
The best time is relative. Set up a family whenever you feel that you are ready, in terms of maturity and financial.

20. My question: What are your most poignant/memorable childhood memories?
The 8 random people I want to tag:
1. Zaid Hakim
2. Gunaseelan
3. Re-an
4. Kak Fied
5. Njo Njo
6. Ravi
7. Shen Yew
8. Sujen

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Bipolar disorder

"Bipolar disorder is not a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated mood, clinically referred to as mania. Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes or symptoms, or mixed episodes in which features of both mania and depression are present. These episodes are normally separated by periods of normal mood, but in some patients, depression and mania may rapidly alternate, known as rapid cycling."
(From Wikipedia)

I may have discovered my problem. All these years, flip-flopping between personalities which are polar opposites, these might be the condition.

I have bipolar disorder.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Man Inside His Dreams


He lay slumped against the wall. His demeanour, sluggish. His eyes, listless. His face, solemn. His heart, heavy. Slowly he felt that the hands of Morpheus are taking him..into the dream world....

"Wake up!" An urgent voice. A bit ironic, he thought. Wasn't he sleeping just now? Waking up inside your own dream? Absurd...

He opened his eyes. Beside him stood a man, not a day older nor younger than he. But that man was very thin, emaciated, has the aura of an incarcerated person, not unlike Monte Cristo (from Dumas' work). For now, let us call this strange person in his dreams, as the Man.

"Who are you?" cliched it may be, that was the only question that springs to mind. "I am a friend. You have known me since ages past." said the Man, with a smile. "Come, share with me your miseries, your problems. Unburden yourself." continued the Man.

He felt strange. As if with this Man, he can say anything. Anything that has been troubling him. "I am always haunted by my sins. I am a perpetual sinner. I hate myself because I always wear masks in my life. My family and friends, they see the other side of me all the time. My true character is not readily apparent to them. Secretly, I am rotten inside. I have done many things that I am not proud of. Things that my family & friends will never associate with me. They will be shocked if they ever found out my true self." A bit expository, perhaps, but maybe because he didn't say them out loud to anyone.

The Man said: "So, do you want to change, to become a better person? A kinder person?" He answered: "I really wanted to." "What is holding you back then, from taking the first step to redemption?" "My sins have ingrained themselves, inside me. They have become an integral part of my psyche. Many times that I have tried to subdue this dark side of me, to put it on a leash. Maybe I will succeed to suppress this dark side for a moment, but only for a moment. Then I will be consumed by the darkness again. As if I had never have any control over it." His eyes are baleful, sad. "I am just tired. I have been fighting this darkness for more than a decade, & I didn't seem to be winning this battle for my psyche. It's a losing streak."

"Maybe, you are not sincere in your motives. To the question, why are you embarking on this journey to change yourself?, what will be your answer?" The Man throws a suggestion. "Is it because of God? Or because you only want to please other humans? What if you are the last man alive? What will it be then?"

He pondered this suggestion. The Man continued, "And remember, my friend. Your predicament is not unique to you. If you have the power to peek into people's minds, then you will find that everybody is struggling to be good. Life is a constant struggle. To be good, that requires a lot of sacrifice. The way I see it, you are actually running away from your problems, right? Let us be honest for a second. You have never tried hard enough to conquer you dark side. It has always been your habit, of running away from your problems. My friend, stop running. Running away will never solve anything. If you try to run away & forget, the problems are still there. God decreed us to have problems, so that we may grow & become a better person, should we are able to solve them. Remember, you are not alone. And should you stumble along the way, should you veer down that dark path again, just get up & walk again in this road of life. Humans are not perfect beings. We are not perfect beings. Stop being hard on yourself. Stop wallowing in self-pity. You will never grow up this way. That's another one of your worries, right? You feel envious that your friends are able to face life's struggles head on, emerging more mature & more strong after the encounter, whereas you are still stuck in a rut. Your mind is still stuck in a stasis, for more than a decade. Be strong, take the bull by its horns. Tanpa keberanian, mimpi tidak akan bermakna. " The Man said.

"I will try, no I must do it. I will be brave. I will not run anymore. May God guide me in my struggle." He said.

The Man smiled. "I am glad to hear that conviction. Me being able to talk here to you, is proof that you are heading on the right path now. May you be strong, & may God guide you always."

The Man stood up to leave.

"Wait, you haven't told me your name!" he said.

"I am your Conscience..finally freed from the shackles of Lust."

"Remember God always...& you will never be led astray."

He woke up. And his heart is heavy no more.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Thoughts in the dead of the night...

Assalamualaikum & good nite,

Usually I set a topic to blog about in each posting, but tonite I want to do a little experiment. I just want to set my mind free & see what comes tumbling out of it, trying to do uninhibited posting.

Sometimes I think I am so selfish. I only think that I am the only person with problems in this world, that other people can handle their own problems, but not me. It never occured to me that each & every one of us might be tested by God, in their own way. Simply put, everyone has their own problems to face. Everyone has their own demons that need to be exorcised.

So, maybe I should not be too negative hehe. I think that my previous posts are so full of negative thinking. & only about myself. I rarely talk about other people...or the world. It is always about me. me. me. Never about other than "me".

So much is happening in the world right now. Back at home, Malaysian politics has never been more fragile. So many uncertainties. So many denials. So many hateful, spiteful feelings. So many people who only care about their own interests, their own pots, their own importances.

Globally, there are so MANY conflicts. People kill each other day by day. Humans are such sad creatures. They have brains & reasoning, yet they still kill each other. They alienate each other. They hate each other. They ostracize each other. They hurt each other. The strong oppress the weak. Only because of difference in race, religion, culture, nationality.
Even Meowth from Pokemon has more sense.

"Why should we hurt each other? We all live under the same sky, breathe the same air. If only we realize that we have so many things in common, & not focusing on the few things that we differ in, well, who knows (what might happen)?"

Yes folks, we might be different, you & me, but fundamentally, we are all the same. We all want to be happy. We all want to be loved. We all want to have friends. We eat. We breathe. We die. So, what's all this fuss about you are Chinese, she's a Muslim, & he's a Russian? That's why there are countless conflicts in this world. Iraq, Afghanistan, Sudan, Thailand, Phillipines, the list goes on.

World economy is showing signs that it may be on the verge of collapsing, at least a few weeks back. Rice distribution has decreased in some countries, some of the usual rice exporters has suspended their rice export. China is under fire about the perceived mishandling of the Tibetans, what with the Olympics is around the corner, this is certainly the last thing that the government of China wanted to happen. But there are some views that say that there might be biased reporting about this against China. Since some of the mainstream media are owned by governments & business entities which might have a vested interest in seeing China having bad press, so they might play this thing up. It is said that the riot in Lhasa, Tibet, might have been instigated or started by the Tibetans themeselves, & while there are Tibetans who, sadly, died, cases of Tibetans who hurt or kill Chinese citizens in Tibet might go unreported.

Well, everything is not rosy in the world right now it seems.

Haha the irony. Just realized that I have broken my promise in the same posting. This posting is turning out to be a post full of negativities too. Sorry.

As for the Sabine Chronicles, I have bits of idea here & there, but haven't had the time to write it & to arrange the plot. Dear, dear me.

This post is too long, it seems. So, nitey nites.

Wassalam...

Friday, April 4, 2008

Downward curve mode...


Hi everyone!

I am very happy that there are some positive responses to my mini-project here, The Sabine Chronicles..especially the latest installment. It was just a brainwave on a Saturday morning, and frankly, after reading it myself, I surmise that there are lots of room for improvement. But I am happy that you guys like it. Just wait for Sabine's (and her master's) next footprints!

My life has always been a roller-coaster ride since 15 years ago. Sometimes, my manners will be good, life is a bed of roses, I am very optimistic. But turn the next corner, round the next bend, then my life will go downhill. I will be full of negative aspects. Lazy, irresponsible to myself, God, family, friends; doesn't take good care of myself, indifferent, not being nice to people, life is a bed of thorns, etc. etc.

Which is my current mode now. What I will call the Evil mode. The Destructive mode. The Damnation mode. The Downward Spiral.
Which is a shame. Just a few weeks back, I was polar opposite. I was in a Good mode. The Enlightened mode. The Beneficient mode. The Upward Curve. What Mr Hirata will say, "Ekstrapolasi kurva yang menanjak..."

So I am waiting for the surge again. The spirit inside me. The drive to be good. The flames of faith to be re-ignited. May Allah still smiles upon this unworthy soul.

"Hidayah is a visitor that we must cherish, lest She goes away again"

Wassalam.